The Things I Want to Tell My Twenty-something Friends
Spoiler: we're all still figuring it out.
No-one actually knows what to do and how to do it and when and where and why and how. Kids or no kids, and when kids? Career - whatever that means these days. But I know lots of my girls are looking for guidance and I was too and I think it’s just that time in life. Muddle along and then realize when you hit the thirty-somethings you’re still figuring it out and so is everyone else. You’re just a little further down the road.
The choices and opportunities are paralyzing.
Just do something
You can correct course later if you don’t like what you’re doing. Try, say yes (or say no), and keep moving. The angst you feel if when you’re frozen debating and deciding will go away if you just DO SOMETHING. And choosing to do nothing is a choice too, the choice to avoid.
Find a supportive partner
Key. Especially in these dual income days. Especially if you want kids. Total game changer, and I say that from experience. Its a privilege to have two people cheering for each other in life.
You don’t expire
“I need to travel now before I can’t” what do you mean, exactly, before you can’t? Travelling is great when you aren’t broke. You can bring kids overseas and you can take time off work. I promise. You’ll still be there with wide-eyed wonder.
Find the things you don’t like
We’re supposed to follow our dreams and pursue what we love. Well guess what, here I am writing ‘cause I love it but I still have a day job. And you know what I have figured out over all this time? What I don't want to be doing. The people I don’t want to be around. The time I’ve spent hating where I am so I don’t do it again. Making the mistakes that I learned from and won’t make again.
Read, watch & absorb media of quality
We learn empathy through reading novels as we examine life through another’s lens. Same goes for a well-written movie or show. There is so much beauty out there amongst the garbage. I get it, and yes, sometimes you need to just zone out and watch Vanderpump (I mean, I do.) Don’t waste too much time doom-scrolling though there are so many other things you could be doing with your time.
My friends, let go of that anxiety that comes around with the 3-0, just live your life and try things. Be intentional but just make a move.
For bonus points: get a therapist or go to your therapist. Who doesn’t benefit from it?
